Calumet Dreams
Tricia's Stuff

Back to Home Page Back to Tricia's Page

J The Best

School Concert in History

by: Tricia Klos

Ð Chapter 1Ñ

The Jensons are the weirdest family I ever met so far! Todd Jenson is bad at everything! One day in Math he said 2+2 = 5, and we were in 3rd Grade! In Phy Ed he can't even bounce a ball, and once in Reading we spent an hour listening to Todd read a short paragraph.

"Uh, t-h-e, uh, the. The c-c- a-a t-t, cat......" he said.

He tries to be a class clown, but he has lame jokes. Nobody laughs at his jokes. We would laugh at him all of the other times, but our teacher Mrs. Brute is very, very, very strict. One time when Todd got an answer wrong that even a baby could do, we laughed. We laughed, and laughed. Mrs. Brute got so fed up with that, that she made us all stay inside a whole recess! And during the whole time we had to do extra hard homework assignments. If we didn't get those assignments done at school we had to do them as homework. Of course, that was fine for the smart kids in the class that hate going outside, and love to do extra hard homework.

The next day everybody (except the smart kids) came to school dreary eyed and tired, saying they didn't finish their homework. Now Mrs. Brute believes in doing your homework. If you don't, you have to stay in another recess to finish it. All the kids hated that. Even the smart ones. Those smart ones begged to stay inside.

"Why, you children should go outside!" Mrs. Brute said, "It's such a lovely day outside!"

"But......" one of the smart ones said.

"No 'buts' about it! Go outside!" Mrs. Brute yelled. That was one of her famous phrases, 'No 'buts' about it!'

Todd has a twin sister, Tanya. Tanya is the complete opposite of Todd. Tanya's smart and beautiful. She's one of the smartest in the class. When people look at those two they don't even expect them to be twins!

One time Tanya told me that back in kindergarten Todd used to be the smartest in the class. She said,

"He used to be soooo smart. Then one day he fell down and bonked his head so hard we had to rush him to the hospital. Luckily he didn't die, but lost his smartness. I tried to teach him everything, but it just didn't work." Then she burst out crying. Anybody would have known that was a really fake cry. I'm pretty sure she was just trying to show off her smartness, though I've seen all of her smarts.

I really don't know if what Tanya said is true. I don't even know if that's possible. I just moved here in 1st Grade. I've asked some people if it's true, but all the answers I got were 'maybe'.

Todd and Tanya have a little brother, Tommy. Actually we all call him Tom the Bomb. Tommy is very smart like Tanya, but he's mean! I guess maybe Tom the Bomb doesn't get much attention from his parents. Neither does Todd, but he doesn't care. Tanya is the one hogging all the attention with all her A's. One time when Tom the Bomb was in 1st Grade I saw him teasing a little girl in kindergarten by singing the song : 'Joy to the world! The Barbie's dead! We chopped off her head! What happened to her body? We flushed it down the potty! And round and round it goes, and round and round it goes! And round... and round..... and round it goes.' Of course that made the little girl cry, and the kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Pocket spanked Tom the Bomb.

So now you have an idea of the Jenson family: Todd, the stupid one, Tanya, the smart one, and Tom the Bomb, the mean one.

So you're going to be surprised when you find out the Jensons are all going to sing a solo in the school concert for a whole 10 minutes end on end!

Ð Chapter 2Ñ

We have a school concert every year for the end of school. Every grade sings about 2 songs. In one of the songs there is always a separate part sung by some special people. Or it could be one person. 3rd to 5th Grade starts rehearsing in late April until the concert at the end of May. KG to 2nd Grade starts rehearsing in mid - March. Even though the older kids rehearse less, they sound a lot better. The younger kids practice a lot more than the older kids, but the younger kids are always off tune. Everybody claps for both the same way though because, even though the older ones sing better, the little kids look so cute when they sing.

Every year the same grade sings the exact same song. That really bores the Fathers who'd rather be watching Star Trek. And every year the whole Elementary sings these two songs. These songs always make the parents cry. So here the kids are singing these two songs while in the background you can hear crying people, and blowing noses because the songs are so sweet. Once you're done with the song, the people stop crying. But since some of the people have babies, the babies start crying. It takes a few minutes to calm all the babies down, and then we say our closing speech and the concert's over!

Mrs. Smith (the music teacher) always runs the concert.

One year Mrs. Smith had laryngitis from the beginning of March until the end of the school year. So there was nobody to teach the songs to the kids. The principal, Mr. Klark, tried calling everybody to see if they'd direct the concert. He kept calling, but he couldn't find anybody that wanted to teach songs to a bunch of kids. Finally Mr. Klark decided to give up on the whole thing. He figured if nobody wanted to teach the songs, nobody would want to hear the songs.

My friend and I didn't like that at all. We went and talked to Mr. Klark.

"Mr. Klark?" I began, "I was wondering if maybe us kids could run the concert this year."

"Yous kids?" Mr. Klark said (for a principal he really uses the wrong language terms), "I guess. It ain't gonna kill nothin'. You can start tomorrow."

"Thanks!" my friend said.

The next day was a disaster! Mr. Klark forgot to tell everyone on the speaker about the rehearsal so my best friend, Sally and I had to tell everyone about the rehearsal. We wasted all our recesses! Plus, I was so stressed out I didn't get my work done for the day so I have a bunch of homework! That was bad because the rehearsal lasted till 5:30 P.M. and I have to go to bed at eight! Tonight was my laundry night so I had to get my laundry done in between 6:00 (which is when I got home) and 8:00.

The rehearsal was terrible, too! Only two of the kindergartners showed up, only 5 of the 1st graders, and 7 of the 2nd graders. They all knew their lines pretty well so we didn't worry. We had one rehearsal every week, and it was going fine until.......

"Who's gonna sing the special part in the concert?" one of the 1st graders asked.

I looked at Sally, and she looked back at me.

"We'll have auditions next Saturday." I said answering the little kid.

Later on I told Mr. Klark to put that on the announcements. As usual, he forgot. And as usual Sally and I had to tell all the kindergartners, 1st graders, and 2nd graders.

Ð Chapter 3Ñ

The auditions went pretty well. Lots of people showed up. Maybe it's because this time we gave them time to talk to their parents.

None of the kindergartners sang well so it was hard to pick. Finally we decided on two little girls that sang the closest to the real pitch.

The 1st graders were easy to decide from. They all sang sort of bad except for 4 kids ( two boys and two girls).

Then came the 2nd Graders, Tom the Bomb's class. They were hard to pick from. They all sang very well (except for Tom the Bomb). Sally and I decided to pick 1 kid's name out of the hat, and they'd be the soloist. So I handed out small scraps of paper and pens to all the kids, and had them write their names on them. Of course, Tom the Bomb broke my favorite pen! Sally collected all the names and put them in a hat. My hands were sweaty as I picked a name.

"Please don't be Tom." I whispered to myself.

I picked a name as some of the kids made a drumroll.

"And the winner is," I continued, "Shannon Blake!"

Everybody cheered. A rush of relief came through my body.

"Thank you God!" I said, "Step up here, Shannon!"

Shannon stepped up and said, "Uh, I can't do it."

"Why not?" I asked.

"I'm moving away a week before the concert." Shannon answered.

"Then pick another person." I said handing her the hat. Shannon picked a name.

"Tom Jenson." she read.

"Oh no!" I said, and almost fainted.

The rehearsals went by quickly after that. At least they did until it was time for 3rd to 5th Graders.

The week before it was time for the older kids' rehearsals Sally and I went up to Mr. Klark.

"Mr. Klark?" Sally began asking, "Do you think we could say the announcement so you don't forget?"

"Me forget? I never forget!" Mr. Klark replied,

"To prove that I'll do it right now!"

Mr. Klark turned on the speaker and said,

"Attention all yous kids in 3rd to 5th grade. Next week Tuesday you have the School Concert rehearsal."

As Sally and I had left, I had whispered to Sally,

"That worked good!"

"Yeah!" Sally agreed.

At the 3rd to 5th Grade rehearsal everything went as bad as the little kids' rehearsal. None of the kids behaved except for Miss Perfect Tanya. After we calmed everybody down I handed out the words to each grade. I went and helped the 3rd Graders while Sally helped the 4th Graders ( Todd and Tanya's grade). The 5th Graders just played around, I guess, until I got there.

Finally somebody asked about the special parts.

I was going to say, "We'll have auditions" when I got a better idea.

"Why don't we have auditions now?" I asked Sally.

"That's a good idea!" Sally said. "Attention everybody! We'll have auditions here and now!"

First we went to the 3rd Grade, and listened to them sing. We couldn't choose any so we went to 4th Grade.

"Okay now, sing." I said. They all sang. Of course, Tanya sang the best, and everybody else sang worse (especially Todd).

I discussed this with Sally. We talked awhile, and then we heard Tanya bragging.

"She was bragging. Let's not let her do it." Sally said, "Besides Tanya is always a soloist. Let's get someone else."

"Yeah." I agreed. Then I got an idea, "Let's pick Todd! That will make her really mad!"

"Yeah!" Sally agreed, "Attention everyone! We've made our decision." Nobody looked worried because they all knew it would be Tanya. "The soloist will be........ Todd!"

Everybody looked shocked, and some of the kids fainted.

"T-t-t-odd." Tanya sputtered and fell over in a daze.

Ð Chapter 4Ñ

"Don't worry, Tanya." I said. "Maybe you can sing a solo for the 3rd Graders."

"Very funny." she said. "I'm going to tell Mr. Klark on you!"

In the next few weeks Mr. Klark called Sally and I into his office.

"Yes?" Sally asked.

"Tanya told me that yous are purposely not letting Tanya be the soloist." Mr. Klark said.

"We're sorry." I said. "But that was a few weeks ago!"

"I'm proud of you for not letting Tanya be the soloist!" Mr. Klark continued.

"What!?" Sally asked and fainted.

"Well, I think she's snotty, too!" Mr. Klark said.

"You know the concert's just next week. Don't you?"

"It is!?" I said and joined Sally on the floor. I guess time had gone so fast I just didn't notice it.

The next day we had our last rehearsal. Nobody knew their words even though they'd heard them the year before, and the year before that, and so on. Sally and I were all worried. If this was a bad concert it would be all our fault. Plus, Sally and I didn't even learn our words.

First I had the kindergartners sing their songs. They did a terrible job, but I liked that because the parents always liked to see the kindergartners try to sing.

The 1st Graders did a wonderful job! They sang like angels. At least, that's what Sally told them.

I was really worried about the 2nd Grade with Tom the Bomb and all. But when I got there Tom wasn't even there.

"Yes!" I said.

"Is Tom sick?" I asked a 2nd grade boy.

"Yep!" the boy answered, "And boy am I glad!"

Then Sally and I listened to the 2nd Grade and said they did great.

Then Sally and I went to the 3rd Grade. Tanya was there getting ready to sing.

"Well, looky at this!" I said with a grim smile.

"Mrs. Smartypants singing with 3rd Graders."

"Oh be quiet!" she said.

We listened to the 3rd Grade sing. We said they sang great even with Tanya.

Then we went to the 4th Grade and listened.

"Maybe we shouldn't have picked Todd as the soloist." Tanya said.

"Too late now." I said.

Todd came out in front, and started singing. He sounded like a crow choking on corn.

"We're doomed!" I said.

Then we went to the 5th Grade and listened. They sounded just as good as the 1st Graders.

Then Sally and I made everybody there sing the two special songs.

Ð Chapter 5Ñ

The day of the concert I didn't eat anything, I was so tense. I was wondering what everyone would do when they saw Todd singing. Tom the Bomb, too.

My mom brought me to school. I was so fidgety she asked me what was wrong. I just answered that I was nervous about my part (even though I don't have one).

So here I am telling you this story right before the concert. Everybody's inside, and Mr. Klark's introducing us. Kindergartners are going inside. They're starting to sing. They sound really good.

Now they're introducing the 1st Graders. The 1st Graders are singing now. They really do sound like angels.

All right, this is one of the big parts. I'm crossing my fingers.

The 2nd Graders are singing their first song. Tom the Bomb is in the 2nd one.

The 2nd song has started, and Tom the Bomb's going out on the stage. I'm not seeing this because I'm outside the door. I can't show my face.

I can hear Tom, but he's not singing the song. He's, he's, he's burping the alphabet! I wonder how the audience is reacting. I can see them by looking in the crack...... they all look shocked and amused! WOW!

The 3rd Graders are singing now. Tanya's doing great in her solo. She sounds lovely. The 3rd Graders are now singing the other song.

4th Grade is out. It's Todd's part. He's singing. It sounds just as good as Tanya's! I'm going to faint!

4th Grade's singing the rest of their songs. 5th Grade follows them and sounds great.

Everybody's singing the two songs. I hear crying in the background. It's over now!

"Thank you for coming everyone!" Mr. Klark said. "And now give a 'thank you' to our coordinators for this whole pageant, Sally and Rebecca!"

I'm going out, and looking at all the smiling faces and clapping hands.

Later on I ask Todd, " How did you sing so well, Todd?"

"I didn't want to ruin my chance to express my true talent." Todd said.

" You've sung this well all your life?" I asked.

" Yep, Rebecca. I just didn't want to break my record." Todd said.

Then I sat down in my desk and congratulated myself.

Dedicated to: My Family